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Mike McGill is a self-professed shit magnet and as an independent private investigator, he’s brought some bizzare work by some even stranger clientele. However, nothing holds a candle to the job he’s been hired for by the president’s heroin-addicted chief of staff. Tasked with tracking down a secret second constitution, Mike is about to push his sanity to its absolute breaking point; to a place he may never return from.

If watching a copy of Godzilla spliced with audio from a porno seems like your thing, then this book may be for you.

If injecting saline into your testicles with a group of spray-tanned body builders sounds like a good time, then this book may be for you.

If milking a cow using your mouth sounds like a refreshing way to quench your thirst, then this book may be for you.

Enough of the tired, Jeff Foxworthy routine. This book is straight up whack (are cool people still using this word?). Ellis does a great job injecting a wild and weird plot into the tried and true detective genre. While it’s not particularly as smooth or satisfying as your standard hard boiled fare, it’s not particularly bad either.

I feel almost like Ellis created all these insane characters first and the story came later. While the whole quest to track down the alien bound secret constitution is absolute insanity, what should really be taken away from Ellis’ story is what it means to be free. Sure, people can do some seriously messed up stuff but if they’re not hurting anyone, who are we to judge? While The White House longs for the days of the nuclear family and the white picket fence, sacrificing personal freedom for old fashioned values probably isn’t the path to take.

Crooked Little Vein is a fun, short read. If you’re a fan of the first person detective genre and are looking for something different, this will certainly pull you out of your funk.